Melecio Ajero (1933-2006)
On August 9, 2006, my father Melecio Ajero passed away. He was 72 years old. Only now I've been able to sit down and write some of my thoughts on his passing.
The day after my dad's death, my entire family converged onto the house in Cherry Hill. Upon hearing of the news, I packed a few things and shot straight down the New Jersey Turnpike in the middle of the night. No way was I going to get any sleep, so I used that opportunity to drive down with no one on the road and eventually be with my mother. My brother Mike, who already lives at the house, was e-mailing as many friends and relatives informing them of the sad news. My brother Mark and his family came to the house in the early afternoon all the way up from Maryland. My brother Mario and his family...God bless them, they had just closed on a new house in Texas and upon hearing the news, he booked a flight for him and his family to Philadelphia to come in during the evening.
Earlier that day, my family and a couple of relatives went to the funeral home to plan out a service for my dad. Seeing that the weekend was coming up, my mom wanted to plan it on a Saturday/Sunday, but it was too soon and not enough time for many of the relatives to be there to pay their last respects. Plus, there were many mass services going on for the general public anyway, so it would have been nearly impossible to schedule anything on those days. I suggested Monday the 14th, but my mom said that it was my dad's birthday and he would have turned 73 that day. I said, "Exactly. I think Dad would have wanted us to celebrate his birthday anyway, so let's make it a celebration of his life". Everyone agreed and decided to have his wake on his birthday, followed by a mass service at the church on Tuesday morning.
Sure, there were some stories I've shared with many of you during my week of bereavement that followed my dad's death. I've listened to many stories from family, his friends and colleagues, some of which were very entertaining to say the least as I had never heard the tales of how my dad met my mom, the way he got along so well with his co-workers at the architecture firm he worked for in Philadelphia for over 23 years, etc. There was a time back in 1988 when my dad dragged me out of bed on his birthday and told me to drive him to Philadelphia. First, we stopped by the local bakery where he would have this huge sheet of birthday cake, along with boxes and boxes of cookies and pastries. I thought to myself, he must be crazy to get all this stuff for his birthday. My mom even had asked him why he kept doing this on his birthday when it should have been his co-workers doing all this for him. He just shrugged it off and told my mom not to worry about it. But that was my dad...he wanted everyone to have a good time and to make sure everyone had cake and pastries and cookies at his office for his birthday. Anyway, I can tell that his co-workers always looked forward to his birthday because I remember that day in 1988 when we arrived at the building in Philadelphia, one of his co-workers was waiting there with anticipation to help bring the goodies up. Back to the present day, one of the visitors to the house was the vice-president of the company, named Mr. Patel. He came with his wife and shared some stories about my dad to my mother and my brother Mark. I had just returned from an errand when they were about to leave and they told me that the entire company in Philadelphia would celebrate my dad's birthday on that Monday by each bringing in some cake, cookies and pastries as a tribute to him.
Another story I can recall was from the mid 1970s on one particular Saturday afternoon, myself along with my brothers Mark and Mike and with the neighborhood kids...Mikey, who lived across the street and our next door neighbors, Tommy and Donna were playing outside and the weather didn't look so good, but we continued to play as much as we could. My dad rounded all of us together and crammed us into his big brown 1970 Ford XL. He took us to the arcade at the Cherry Hill Mall where we got to play air hockey, pinball, video pong, etc. After that, we took another trip, this time to a local pizzeria that still stands today, called King Of Pizza on Route 70 in Cherry Hill. Dad treated all of us kids to two large pies and even though I don't remember what was on it, we all had a great time on that crappy rainy Saturday afternoon.
The one thing I will remember in the days that followed my dad's passing is the outpouring of love and support from family and friends from all over the world. Dad was all about having fun and making sure everyone at the house felt welcome there. I hope I was able to help continue that in my dad's absence when the house was filled with family, relatives and friends from all over the place. I know he would have loved to have been there, especially on his birthday when they all sang "Happy Birthday" to him that night, followed by the cutting of his cake by my mother and myself. His life was definitely a celebration of sorts and the party atmosphere in the house was alive and well.
I remember on the 10th day following my father's death, the house did not have any visitors for the first time. That's when it really hit me and my mother. I had to get out of the house and continue on with life. My friend Beth invited me to a Steely Dan/Michael McDonald show at the Tweeter Center in Camden, NJ. Though I enjoyed the show very much, Dad was heavily on my mind, but I know he would have wanted me to have a good time out there.
I've received lots of cards and e-mails from many of you asking what you could do to help out. The best thing you could do in memory of my father is to make a donation in his name to the American Heart Association. They have a website at www.americanheart.org.
My brother Mario wrote a brief, but wonderful tribute to our dad on his blog at http://marioajero.blogspot.com
My nephew Ellis (my cousin Junel's son) took some great photos at his site. You can view them at http://ellisr.smugmug.com.
To those of you that have called, e-mailed or sent me a card, thank you from the bottom of my heart. The whole experience of losing a loved one has been a real eye opener for me personally and one that I am still trying to understand. But I know that in due time, things will get easier to handle.
The day after my dad's death, my entire family converged onto the house in Cherry Hill. Upon hearing of the news, I packed a few things and shot straight down the New Jersey Turnpike in the middle of the night. No way was I going to get any sleep, so I used that opportunity to drive down with no one on the road and eventually be with my mother. My brother Mike, who already lives at the house, was e-mailing as many friends and relatives informing them of the sad news. My brother Mark and his family came to the house in the early afternoon all the way up from Maryland. My brother Mario and his family...God bless them, they had just closed on a new house in Texas and upon hearing the news, he booked a flight for him and his family to Philadelphia to come in during the evening.
Earlier that day, my family and a couple of relatives went to the funeral home to plan out a service for my dad. Seeing that the weekend was coming up, my mom wanted to plan it on a Saturday/Sunday, but it was too soon and not enough time for many of the relatives to be there to pay their last respects. Plus, there were many mass services going on for the general public anyway, so it would have been nearly impossible to schedule anything on those days. I suggested Monday the 14th, but my mom said that it was my dad's birthday and he would have turned 73 that day. I said, "Exactly. I think Dad would have wanted us to celebrate his birthday anyway, so let's make it a celebration of his life". Everyone agreed and decided to have his wake on his birthday, followed by a mass service at the church on Tuesday morning.
Sure, there were some stories I've shared with many of you during my week of bereavement that followed my dad's death. I've listened to many stories from family, his friends and colleagues, some of which were very entertaining to say the least as I had never heard the tales of how my dad met my mom, the way he got along so well with his co-workers at the architecture firm he worked for in Philadelphia for over 23 years, etc. There was a time back in 1988 when my dad dragged me out of bed on his birthday and told me to drive him to Philadelphia. First, we stopped by the local bakery where he would have this huge sheet of birthday cake, along with boxes and boxes of cookies and pastries. I thought to myself, he must be crazy to get all this stuff for his birthday. My mom even had asked him why he kept doing this on his birthday when it should have been his co-workers doing all this for him. He just shrugged it off and told my mom not to worry about it. But that was my dad...he wanted everyone to have a good time and to make sure everyone had cake and pastries and cookies at his office for his birthday. Anyway, I can tell that his co-workers always looked forward to his birthday because I remember that day in 1988 when we arrived at the building in Philadelphia, one of his co-workers was waiting there with anticipation to help bring the goodies up. Back to the present day, one of the visitors to the house was the vice-president of the company, named Mr. Patel. He came with his wife and shared some stories about my dad to my mother and my brother Mark. I had just returned from an errand when they were about to leave and they told me that the entire company in Philadelphia would celebrate my dad's birthday on that Monday by each bringing in some cake, cookies and pastries as a tribute to him.
Another story I can recall was from the mid 1970s on one particular Saturday afternoon, myself along with my brothers Mark and Mike and with the neighborhood kids...Mikey, who lived across the street and our next door neighbors, Tommy and Donna were playing outside and the weather didn't look so good, but we continued to play as much as we could. My dad rounded all of us together and crammed us into his big brown 1970 Ford XL. He took us to the arcade at the Cherry Hill Mall where we got to play air hockey, pinball, video pong, etc. After that, we took another trip, this time to a local pizzeria that still stands today, called King Of Pizza on Route 70 in Cherry Hill. Dad treated all of us kids to two large pies and even though I don't remember what was on it, we all had a great time on that crappy rainy Saturday afternoon.
The one thing I will remember in the days that followed my dad's passing is the outpouring of love and support from family and friends from all over the world. Dad was all about having fun and making sure everyone at the house felt welcome there. I hope I was able to help continue that in my dad's absence when the house was filled with family, relatives and friends from all over the place. I know he would have loved to have been there, especially on his birthday when they all sang "Happy Birthday" to him that night, followed by the cutting of his cake by my mother and myself. His life was definitely a celebration of sorts and the party atmosphere in the house was alive and well.
I remember on the 10th day following my father's death, the house did not have any visitors for the first time. That's when it really hit me and my mother. I had to get out of the house and continue on with life. My friend Beth invited me to a Steely Dan/Michael McDonald show at the Tweeter Center in Camden, NJ. Though I enjoyed the show very much, Dad was heavily on my mind, but I know he would have wanted me to have a good time out there.
I've received lots of cards and e-mails from many of you asking what you could do to help out. The best thing you could do in memory of my father is to make a donation in his name to the American Heart Association. They have a website at www.americanheart.org.
My brother Mario wrote a brief, but wonderful tribute to our dad on his blog at http://marioajero.blogspot.com
My nephew Ellis (my cousin Junel's son) took some great photos at his site. You can view them at http://ellisr.smugmug.com.
To those of you that have called, e-mailed or sent me a card, thank you from the bottom of my heart. The whole experience of losing a loved one has been a real eye opener for me personally and one that I am still trying to understand. But I know that in due time, things will get easier to handle.
posted by Mel at 2:40 PM
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